I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
