im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
