Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
