found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sarcasm needs its own font
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
