I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
