goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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