After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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