Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
