I bet he comes in French.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
