We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
