I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
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Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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