She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
