I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
