Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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