Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
