i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
