How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize