Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
