well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
