hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Boobs are out for the taking
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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