Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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