My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
