Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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