I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize