Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
