Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
