Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
