Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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