White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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