You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
