We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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