I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize