I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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