hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you inspire me to be a worse person
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
