Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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