i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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