Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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