is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When are your genitals available?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
