happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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