He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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