yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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