and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
