I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
