I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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