if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
