why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize