Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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