Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
