I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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