i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
