My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize