you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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