Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
