you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
