I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
