How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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