im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
