The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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