I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
