their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
