Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
