I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
