I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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